What Happens Off-Screen
by EternityRoze262
Summary: Prepared to be brainwashed by the Dai Li. Or just come and enjoy a nice cup of tea provided by yours truly at the Jasmine Dragon! -Zutara fluff and stuff


\- Chapter 1 -

{What Happens Off-Screen}

"Welcome! You're just in time! 'In time for what?' you say? Why, tea time with your Uncle Iroh!" The retired general brews a pot of hot water, diffused with a carefully prepared root, over a gentle flame and smiles warmly. "First time customers will receive a special cup of tea served by me personally! It's my favorite! Ginseng tea!"

A couple seconds after the hot water starts boiling, Iroh pours the tea into a porcelain cup. The steam rises, exhibiting a sweet yet spiced scent.

"I added some honey in there to flavor," he says with a grin. "Enjoy!" Then he moves forward and says in a low voice, "Seriously, you're going to need it. I'm probably the best part of this story."

Iroh straightens with another wide smile. "If anything bad happens, you're more than welcome to come back for another cup of tea!"

* * *

"Sokka, we have a problem." Aang stepped into the common area of the fire nation royal palace holding an open scroll in his hands. He was met with the gaze of the entire Gaang hanging out in the room.

"Let me guess- another hardcore shipping troll," the water tribe boy sighed. The first couple times this happened, Sokka burst into laughter and joked around saying he would tally up how many times this happened for old times' sake; but after the number surpassed a hundred in the past month, it was starting to get old. Not just old. Annoying.

No one in the group expected people to become this obsessed over proposed relationships from the reenactment of _The Boy in the Iceberg_ performed by the Ember Island Players.

"This has got to be the thirtieth complaint this week!" Toph grumbled crossing her feet together on her foot rest.

"You know, maybe it's not just the fans of the play who are obsessed. I'm starting to get this really weirrrrdd feeling that somewhere in another universe, there are people watching us like we're some sort of T.V show and trying to pair some of us together," Sokka stated with shady eyes.

Everyone just stared at him like he was an idiot.

Finally Aang spoke up, "What's a T.V. show?"

"Do they see how we're like off-screen?" Katara added.

"What's a screen?" Aang gave Katara a confused look.

"Do they know what I did to Katara off-screen?" Zuko contributed.

"What did you do to Katara?!" Aang suddenly shouted, twisting at the firebender.

"Naw, they only captured the exciting bits," Suki confirmed Zuko and Katara's questions.

"You've seen it?"

"I've seen it too," Toph grinned amusingly.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me about—wait…"

"Well, I heard it if anything," the earthbender reasoned.

Before Aang could react, Sokka leapt at Zuko like a fully grown saber-tooth moose lion. "What did you do to my sister off screen?!"

"What did you do with _Suki_ off screen?!" Zuko retaliated in hopes to embarrass him.

Sokka's face melted at the realization. "YOU DID _THAT_?!"

"No, Sokka," Katara waved a hand between her older brother and the Fire Lord, then stepped between them to break them apart. "We didn't do anything. Can you stop believing everything you hear?"

"But you know… Zuko's got a point," he affirmed rubbing his chin as if he were a professional detective. "The juicy details happened off screen and nobody knows about it!" A huge smile crawled upon his face and he threw his arms in the air. "They don't know about the time I stopped to tie my shoelaces!"

Katara frowned. "Sokka, you don't have shoelaces."

Sokka ignored her but carried on with his epiphany. "Even better! Nobody knows about the time I hallucinated on cactus juice in the desert!"

Suki and Katara gave each other a knowing look. "Uhh actually they did show that part," Suki stated, feeling sorry to burst his bubble. The water tribe boy froze in his thoughts.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sokka melted to the ground for real this time.

"You wanna know what happens off screen? Conversations like this!" Toph leaned back comfortably in her chair. Too comfortably. She put on an expression of boredom and forced apathy. "Pretty clouds," she said trying to imitate Sokka's voice and then turned her head to face the other direction. "Yeah… fluffy," she continued in an exaggerated deep voice. The other girls giggled at her reenactment, but Sokka and Zuko tried not to remember that awkward conversation.

Zuko gritted his teeth to keep himself from exploding and then regained his focus. "That's not the point. The point is that we keep receiving hate mail about all this shipping between us."

Everyone nodded and pondered the situation in silence.

"Why is this such a big deal anyways?" Aang questioned and for once, everyone agreed.

"Yeahhhh, I have no idea," Suki added glancing at everyone suspiciously.

The Gaang took a moment to run through the possibilities before turning in unison to face the audience (yeah, that's you).

"I mean, we all know that Katara and I are meant to be," Aang commented.

"What?!" Zuko interfered taking a step forward. "You're forgetting about me! _I'm_ in love withKatara." Everyone sent him a strange look like he had just confessed his undying love for Katara.

Wait…

"No offence Zuko, but that's kind of out of character for you to say that," Suki noted.

"Well, my voice actor admitted that I liked Katara; didn't you guys hear?" Zuko retorted and then looked up toward the sky… or in this case the ceiling. "Hey Dante! Keep making me say things that are out of character! We need some more fan service over here!"

Aang scrunched his face in confusion. "Uhh Zuko, who are you talking to?"

The Fire Lord turned his attention back toward the group. "My other self."

"I can't take this," Katara said out of nowhere and the rest of the group turned to look at her, now taking her place in the spotlight. "I'm always being paired up with everyone in this world. Even my own brother!"

"Yeah!" Suki agreed, starting to get riled up. "Why can't I have all that attention and fandom? Just because you're the main girl doesn't mean you get to hog all the boys!"

"It's not like I'm trying to!"

"You should give the guys a test when you meet 'em," Toph smirked. "Put on that completely calm face and see if they still wanna stick around."

Katara threw her hands on her hips and leaned toward Toph. "Oh yeah? Well, everyone should see how you look when you wake up in the morning with your bed head!"

Toph merely shrugged and waved a hand in the air. "Hey, I don't care about boys. I'm always the intelligent one that you guys come to for advice because I'm oh so perspective with my enhanced senses."

"Uauurggg!" Katara groaned loudly in defeat.

"Sounds like the group need to settle things off for good," a dark menacing voice came from the doorway.

Zuko nearly fell off his seat. "Azula!"

"I thought you were sad and done with," Sokka pointed out.

"Don't be stupid. I'm still alive and my character isn't going to transform to be all nice and mushy like Zuzu's."

"Why are you here?" Aang asked all defensive.

"Relax avatar. I'm suggesting a solution to all your problems…" the princess started and then raised her eyebrows and stuck her head forward furiously. "An Agni Kai!"

"Is that your solution for everything?" Zuko replied, clearly not impressed.

Azula pretended to be busy examining her nails. "Well, if you want to debate, that could be arranged too, but where's the fun in that? All talk and no action." She turned towards Aang as if she knew something juicy. "Wasn't it you who said 'Harsh words won't solve problems. Action will'?"

Aang face palmed in exasperation. "You guys keep misinterpreting that line!"

"Look, there's obviously some reason that the world is devoted to their ships. That shipping is their creed, their way of life. Any criticism to the ship is criticism to them personally. And you guys are at fault."

"So why are you so worked up about it? It doesn't even concern you," Sokka tilted his head in confusion.

Azula sighed lightly, rolling her eyes with an amused look. "If you must know, I enjoy seeing you all at each other's throats. And maybe I'm just a little bored- blame Mai for having her boredom spread to me. Confinement and guard-sitters aren't exactly thrilling. Give me a show- some drama." The demon princess took a slight pause to create suspense. "Oh, and if you do decide to have that debate, I'd be more than delighted to take a side. I don't hold back my ingenious thoughts. But you would know that better than anyone, wouldn't you Zuzu? I wonder whose side I should be on…" she tapped her chin with her pointy finger.

"She's right," an ominous voice grumbled from Katara. "I'm sick and tired of all these people trying to decide my life for me! Have they ever considered what I wanted? I'm with you Azula; this needs to go down. Now."

"I thought so," Azula grinned wildly at her success. "Throne room in three days. Better start finding your defendants now."

"Wait," Aang spoke out before Azula could leave the room. "Whose side _are_ you going to be on?"

"Well, siding with you would be like siding with the enemy…" she started and Aang's eyes dropped slightly. "But siding with Zuko would be like siding with a traitor." She sighed as if she cared. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see. Oh and one last thing." Everyone kept their eye on her which made Azula feel renewed power surge throughout her. Even though she was defeated by her brother and that waterbender, she could still permit enough presence to keep everyone on their toes. "Although our little author here is open to all shippings, she's slightly more for Zuko and the waterbender. I would get on her good side if I were you, Avatar."

The princess left the room without another hesitation and the rest of the group let her final words sink in before slowly turning towards… oh… hey there. Don't look at me like that you guys, please. I'll try to be fair, I promise. This is for laughs! Come onnnnn! No but seriously, it's okay, you can laugh. It's funny.

…

I think Azula is starting to possess me.

* * *

"Would you like another cup of tea?" Iroh suggests already pouring ginseng tea into another cup.


End file.
